Delivered by Amy Higgins on September 10, 2023

Scripture: Romans 12:9-21

A frazzled mother pushed her upset toddler in a cart through Target. Whether she had chosen to let him cry it out or had just given up, she was ignoring him. Finally, the toddler says, “Mommy are you gonna bwess my heart? BWESS! MY! HEART! MOMMYYYY!” Oh, bless him. And his mom. Every region has trademark phrases and the South is no exception. No matter how the phrase originated, we know “Bless your heart”, and especially it’s double-edged meaning, is very much a Southern thing. As one person described it, “Bless your heart” is like chicken and waffles. It can be sweet or it can be spicy. And some of us have perfected its use in almost any situation. “Bless your heart” can mean different things. “I wish I could say what I’m really thinking.”; “You’re pitiful but don’t know it.”; “Can I bring you a casserole?”; “I don’t care but, I feel like I should.”; and “I’m praying for you.” 

“Bless your heart” is a lot like faith, full of subtleties and contradictions. It is all about the intent. Paul says in this passage, “Love must be sincere.” I can sincerely mean “Bless your heart, you just don’t know how pitiful you are.” And we can tell ourselves that is love. How is it not? It has bless and heart in it. But, a dressed up insult is still an insult. As the British actor Hugh Grant once said, his favorite American actresses to work with are Southern because a Southern woman can cuss you out and you’ll never realize it. Clearly, we can fall into the trap of confusing love with our sincerest insult. 

Paul goes on to explain. “Cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” The lectionary linked this passage in Romans to the Matthew passage last week and we can see how Paul’s words relate to Jesus’ command to take up our cross. But none of this is self-denial for the sake of self-denial. It is about humility but, we also must be sure we understand the true definition of humility. It is not thinking less of ourselves, as we so easily do. True humility is thinking about ourselves less often so that we may think of others more often. That is how we take up our cross by being, as Paul says, “joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

We can easily do that when we are only dealing with ourselves. It is easy to be joyful and faithful when things are good. And yet, sometimes that patience in affliction can become comfortable, maybe too comfortable – to the point of a martyr’s false cross. So Paul also says share with those in need, be hospitable. Again, he pushes us beyond ourselves so we do not become complacent. Well, it’s easy to be hospitable to those in need; it’s what we Christians do (at least we should do). But Paul doesn’t just leave it at that. “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Somehow I don’t think Paul is talking “bless your heart” either.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Do not take revenge. Well, he just took the satisfaction out of that, didn’t he?  Don’t fight evil with evil. Do not respond to insults with insults. As the saying goes, you do not have to attend every argument you are invited to. “Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.” Do not return insults but, bless those who persecute you. But how? 

In Luke Chapter Six, Jesus concludes the Beattitudes with the command, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you…Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Yeah, that’s easier said than done. It is hard to turn the other cheek, especially when it means allowing someone to get away with mistreating you. But neither Paul nor Jesus says to just let it go. Bless those who curse you, who persecute you. And we do so by being honest.

When we have been cursed and persecuted we must be honest about where we are, how we feel. We must speak to the suffering and hurt that has been caused. When we are honest, we do not allow the oppression and harm to go unaddressed. When we are honest, there is accountability and learning and growth. And there is the blessing. We bless those who persecute us by sharing our truth. And when we share and listen to one another, without trying to change the other person, God uses our honest sharing to change our hearts as only He can. To bless means “to ask God to look favorably on”. And we do so when we offer our sincere honesty without expectation of anything in return.

But we must not only bless those who persecute us, we must love our enemy. Jesus says in Luke Chapter Six, “Love your enemies, do good to them…Be merciful just as your Father is merciful.” And Paul says in this passage, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.” Paul’s words not only echo Jesus in the Luke passage but reflect Jesus’ words in Matthew 25:40, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” The verses which lead up to this speak of helping the hungry, the naked, the sick, the imprisoned. But could not the same be said for those who persecute and curse us?

“Hurt people hurt other people.” Why does that person curse us? What emptiness are they trying to fill? What do they hunger for? What has left them raw and vulnerable, emotionally naked? Spiritually sick? In what pain are they imprisoned? If we can see the hunger and thirst in our enemy, we can see the image of God not just in those we love but also in our enemy. And in doing for our enemy, we also do for the Jesus in them and our enemy is our enemy no more.

So when we find ourselves persecuted and cursed by someone who is not who they are fully meant to be because they’re hangry, may we not be conformed to this world and instead bless their heart and give them a Snickers full of grace and love.